Lost Love

The famous poet Alfred Tennyson said it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Initially When I heard this I thought it was utter crap ; Who wants to invest their time into someone and have their heart broken? Why not just avoid love altogether I thought, Silly fools! Easier said than done.
When you start falling in love with someone you don’t even realize it, it really just happens outta nowhere. You become engulfed in total bliss & pure happiness, you feel complete. It is really an indescribable feeling. When I fell in love I had finally realized what Tennyson meant, love is a beautiful thing. I was waking up every day with thoughts of this one person on my mind, happy everyday and content in knowing that someone had a strong love for me. Then things fell apart. He cheated. I was heartbroken, devastated to say the least.
Imagine investing your time and energy into something just to have it fall apart in front your eyes. It was really one if the most traumatic things that had ever happened to me. I felt broken, like I had lost a big piece of me. I constantly tried to make sense of the situation and almost went crazy doing so because there was no logic behind his deception. I was really left in a hopeless place with nothing but despair and tears. I felt like there was no coming back from this like I would be broken forever and the remnants of this shattered heart would last forever.
But one day something clicked in me and I realized I couldn’t lose myself over lost love.
You have to look at it like this, when a mirror is cracked and is repaired no matter what it is no longer its former self whether it is stronger or stained with a scar. What is taken from this action of repair or the scorn of the scar is a lesson which is more valuable than anything one could hope for.
I realized that this feeling of brokenness was nothing more than mind over matter. Of course it sucked when it happened and in the back of my mind there is a chance that it would always hurt at least a little. However, it didn’t make sense to dwell on the pain of lost love. It made more sense to cherish the fact that I allowed myself to love so wholehearted and with so much power.
I learned to forgive him not for the sake of letting him back into my life but I forgave for the sake of my heart and sanity. I realized I didn’t have to walk around with the burning pain in my mind and heart because this pain could lead to resentment and resentment could lead to fear of love and depriving me of true love would really be the ultimate punishment. i came to the realization that I had to just live , let go and move on.
By the end of my heartbreak I had fully understood what Alfred Tennyson meant; lost love is either a blessing or lesson. It can be really devastating when it happens but the strength you regain when you pull through it is a beautiful thing. You prove to yourself how courageous and brave you are to not allow yourself to remain broken. You really see what beauty can come from tragedy. You really learn never to give upon yourself, that you can make it through the darkest of times by just believing that you can.

Two sides of the Fence

Two years of love

Two years of pain

Two years wasted

Experience gained

Two years of tears

Two years of lies

Two years of bliss

Sometimes ..

Two years of hope

Two years of doubt

That things might ever work out

Now that it’s over all that remains

Two years of energy

That can never be regained

Two years and change.