The Caged Canary

it was like a vivid reflection of my former self
i froze in awe 

every word 

every tear
my brokenness duplicated
i cringed with each sob

i could feel it

because I felt it

i used to be her 

i used to hurt

i used to question 

why

why me

blank.
no answer
even now
i stopped asking why
and asked
how
willI restore my soul
rediscover myself
be whole again
the road to recovery isn’t paved smoothly
nor is it easy
to leave behind what once brought joy
and comfort
but I packed my bags
filled them with hope and faith
left behind the resentment and hate
the bitterness and fear
gathered my shattered self
and was off
to restoration
to redemption
on a road to rescue myself
from myself
I’m not quite there
but I’m not far away
once she lets go of the fear of being lonely
and realizes that she deserves to be happy
she can be on her way
I got there
and so will she.
she doesn’t know it 

she doesn’t believe it 

at the moment
the pain is unbearable
the tears are unstoppable
the pain from being slapped with deceit still resonates
but one day her smile will be genuine 
and she’ll be her own heroin 

but only when she realizes the only person that can save her 
Is her.

SemiColon

Ever woke up wishing you didn’t wake up.
not wanting to be yourself anymore
Broken
hating yourself
even for hating yourself
finding yourself drowning in sadness
tangled In self hate
filled with emptiness
longing to just be okay ;
to be whole again
just hold on
keep pushing.
even though you might not believe it
its never as bad as it seems
it’ll get better
if not today maybe tomorrow
or the day after that
but one day you’ll love yourself for not giving up on yourself.

I know I do.

the great escape.

Can’t hide from myself or my own thoughts 

Feels like I’m trapped 

within myself 

yearning to break free , 

to escape 

to find 

Hope and Faith,

They seem like merely words 

not something i posses 

I try to view the light at the end of this dark tunnel 

but i just cant see it 

I guess my vision isn’t clear 

because what i envisioned is no longer here.

Two sides of the Fence

Two years of love

Two years of pain

Two years wasted

Experience gained

Two years of tears

Two years of lies

Two years of bliss

Sometimes ..

Two years of hope

Two years of doubt

That things might ever work out

Now that it’s over all that remains

Two years of energy

That can never be regained

Two years and change.