CURTAIN

I look in the mirror and the person staring back isn’t the person i expected to be. I didn’t think I’d be who i am today, I always expected that at this stage in life i’d be greater or achieved more , at least a little more than I have now. I can hardly look myself in the eyes ; surrounded by mascara stained cheeks. I seem to always have this constant battle of who I am vs who I want to be.

You know those cries in the shower that don’t seem like cries because the water becomes one with your tears as you bathe in your despairs so it just feels like a release of negativity
of all things hurtful all the things that break you down as you break down because of the struggles
the struggles of every day life that you can’t seem to wash away no matter how much you release it still haunts you it still comes back it still remains if it’s not one thing it’s the other and when it’s one thing and the other and it becomes overbearing and you can’t take it anymore all you can do is get in the shower and release…
hoping to wash away the grime of the world all the filth clogging up the pores of your sanity blocking your mind from being cleansed so now it’s just filled with everything everything and anything
everything you ever wanted is in the back of your mind as you struggle to wash away the debris blocking your dreams from coming true all the negativity in the way hindering you from freeing yourself and becoming who you want and need
So you take a shower and rid yourself of life’s toxins washing them away as often as much as you need to with the hopes that one day when you look in the mirror you’ll see the reflection you dreamed of staring back at you with clear eyes the same clear eyes the world sees you with because when they look at you they don’t see the person behind that shower curtain they see the post shower facade the one that was created when you dried away the remnants of your shower.